Morning Rant

Since my last post, I've been thankful for life (no specific day necessarily).
I've been thankful for common sense and the ability to know right from wrong. (Is that the same thing?)


I woke up this morning, earlier than usual. I showered and got ready. I had a little time before I had to leave for work, so my mom and I started talking--mistake #1. We talked about family and such. She had mentioned that my aunt (who lives out of town) never helps out with their mom, which, however true that is (only slightly), Mom doesn't exactly spend time with their mom much either. She'll do things for her like go get her prescriptions and go get lunch for her, but not like we used to. We used to go to dinner with Granny at least once a week, sometimes even twice. I still do, but Mom doesn't. Why, you ask? Oh, because in her words, "I'm busy." Oh, she's not busy. Let's talk about busy for a second. The only real time that I have Sunday-Saturday, is Friday night, Saturday, & Sunday after church. I have no time during the week to do anything. Period. That will all change soon. But, she would just rather spend time with her fiance, that she doesn't spend a day apart from. And what do they do? They watch TV, have dinner, and talk. Swamped, she is. Anyway, I told her all of this and she had nothing to say back. She said, "you're right." I'm thinking, what's new?

I just all of a sudden got frustrated about life this morning. I'm sick of the way I feel all day long. I hate going to work. I hate being bored out of my skull every single day. I hate the way I feel about my mom sometimes. I hate that I don't have a clue what I'm going to be doing in 6 weeks when my job ends. I hate the way I look. All I want is a plan. I want to know part of the future. I want to know if I should really be a teacher or if God has something else for me. I'm so sick of not knowing things. I put my life in God's hands and I'm glad I did. I would just like a little hint of my future. I plan on trusting God the entire way. Just.... Anything?

Hope this made sense. If it didn't--I don't care. I feel better getting it out.
-katie

P.S. Today, I'm thankful for the weekend.