Saturday, May 11, 2013

Delightfully Waiting

I've been having a hard time lately. I think that it has finally set in that I am on my own. And while I love it. It's hard. After living almost 25 years at home with someone around almost all the time, it's rough to go from that to not really anyone around. Don't get me wrong, I like my "me" time. But, I guess I just wish that I had someone/something to fall back on. Someone who would always be there to just chat with me if I was bored or sad, etc.

"Take delight in the LORD
and He will give you
your heart's desires."
-Psalm 37:4 [NLT]

I am trying to cling to this verse right now. I've never wanted anything more in life than to be a wife and a mother. I've never had any career aspirations (that stuck) or goals in life other than that. I long to take care of my husband. I ache for children, whether they are biologically mine, or not. God-willing, I will bear children. But, that is not for me to decide. It is up to Him. And until the man that was created for me comes along, I will wait. I will wait on Him. I will pursue my relationship with Him. I will wait. 

I love the song that came out a few years ago with the movie, Fireproof. It's called "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller. Here are the lyrics. They are phenomenal.

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on you, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on you, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve you
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on you, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on you, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I just love those words. In face, I just bought the song. Can't believe I didn't even have it already. It's one of my favorites. Anyway, I love these words. And I love that I still have plenty of time. I just get discouraged. I always feel like no one is interested in me. No one wants to get to know me better. Now, whether that's true or not, God wants me to get to know Him better. He wants me to want a relationship with Him. And I do. I love that I've been growing more the past few months. I've seen a change. A desire. And I like it. I'm thankful. 

Lord, I'm waiting on You
and your perfect timing. But, please Lord,
don't make me wait too long.
I love You. You have blessed me more
than I could've ever imagined
in the past few months.
I am thankful
and I will wait on You. 
Love, Me