How Can I Keep From Singing?

My life lately has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. This year has been very interesting, but overall, I think it's been good.

I started out the year with Upward Basketball, which turned out to be a success! Great kids and lots of fun. The 4th anniversary of my Dad's passing came and my bad day was lifted. A boy that I used to/kinda still babysit accepted Jesus as his Savior. I was and am so proud of Graham! He has shined this year and I can't wait to see what our God has in store for him in the future. I attended baby showers/births, movies, concerts, birthday parties, weddings, and funerals. I went to Texas twice, thankfully--was named Godmother to 4 wonderful children! I've sang. I had a birthday. I flew to DC for the first time and flew by myself for the first time and road-tripped it back with my best friend. I've laughed. I met 2 blog friends, Katie and Angie--Blessings, both of them. I babysat and housesat like nobody's business. I attended voice lessons. I babysat some more during the summer. I've cried. I saw my cousin get married and then leave for Afghanistan. I've wondered. I've talked with Cate and Tori and Jackson individually and I've been blessed each time. I've taken pictures, great pictures--pictures that capture memories. I joined a small group. I saw WICKED. I shopped. I hugged. I met the man my mom's been seeing. I've cried. I've asked questions and I've doubted. I prayed when a high school classmate of mine fell and hit his head. I'm praying still. I have celebrated and I have grieved this year.


Like I said, roller coaster. But those little things like, "I've laughed" and "I've sang," makes this year totally worth it. Graham received Christ as his Savior. That makes this year worth it. Being named a Godmother makes it totally worth it. I am so thankful for this year, but I hope and pray that 2011 will be even better.


Even though things have been wonderful, bad, great, terrible and fine this year, I can't help but thank God for his blessings. How can I keep from singing praises to my Father? I can't. No matter how bad things get in my life, I can always sing. I love that. I love that God gave me that joy. And honestly, I've never noticed it until right this second. If I'm ever mad or frustrated, I take a drive and I sing. As soon as I return home or back to where I was, I'm instantly in a better mood. However I choose to sing. Crazy. Angry. Humbled. Prayerful. It's an outlet for me. I'm so thankful for it.


I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I hope you reflected on Christ's birth instead of getting presents. I know, I need to work on that too. I should be happy to be alive, instead I'm worried about having enough presents under the tree.


Have a wonderful New Year!
katie

~Live~Laugh~Love~

PRAYER REQUEST!

Ok Prayer Warriors, I need you!!

A friend of mine, that I graduated with, Mark Webb, is in the hospital. He fell out of a truck on the 21st of November. He has inter-cranial pressure at the level of about 15, which is decent, but we need it to be at 0. God can do this. And His Word says, "Again, I assure you: If two of you on earth agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there among them."[HCSB] Let gather together and pray for Mark's healing. 


God, spare Mark's life. He is a wonderful guy who loves you and serves you. Heal him and let this be a testimony to you in his life. Bless and comfort his family through this time. Thank you in advance for Mark's healing.

Amen.

Birthdays, Baptisms, and Fairy Wings

This week has been incredible!! And my weekend isn't even over yet. God has truly blessed me. I have never felt it as much as I do right now. It's almost overwhelming. The week started out with 2 days of Pierce. Precious, to say the least. He was so good!! And he's almost to the point of sitting up on his own. He still falls over, but he can sit up for a LOONG time! I am so proud of him! He will be 6 months old on November 4th, I believe. He's getting so big!!

See?? So big. Yet, oh, so precious!

I am currently on vacation. Starting on Wednesday, I flew to see the Tucker's, who I used to babysit. I went to visit them in April, if you remember. Had a blast, and so far, this trip is FAR surpassing that one, for 3 reasons!

Reasons #1:

Tori's Birthday was October 28th. 15 years old. (I know your jaw just dropped, Sadie!) It boggles my mind that that 9 year old little girl is now a freshman in high school. She is so mature and loving AND she's taller than me (not cool). She is so incredibly beautiful and I cannot believe she is already 15. I was 16 when I started babysitting them!! Crazy!

**Background (before Reason #2): Tori was 9 when I first came to them. Kaleb was 2(almost 3). Trinity was 1(almost 2). And Cameron was a brand new-came home from the hospital-baby. And now, Tori is 15. Kaleb will be 10 in March. Trinity will be 8 is January. And Cameron will be 6 on Friday the 5th. Insane, I say. I cannot believe how time has flown and how fast they're growing up, which is guess is the same thing, if you think about it.

Reason #2:

Tori was baptized on Halloween!! I am so beyond proud of her. She has wanted a relationship with God for as long as I've known them, really. But something was always still getting in the way. She was and still is to a certain extent, really shy and quiet. Sometimes you have to pull her thoughts out of her, happy or upset. She's complicated, as are all women. So a while back, (not sure how long) her mom, Holly, talked to her about asking Jesus into her heart and having a relationship with Him. They talked for weeks, I think, and after a while she decided that was something she wanted to do. *Beaming with pride here* So Tori asked Jesus to be the Lord and Savior of her life. And now, she is finalizing it with baptism. I couldn't be more proud of her if she were my own.

Which brings us to...

Reason #3!:

This is my favorite one, and I won't beat around the bush or stall in the revealing of this particular reason why this trip has been sooo much better than the April trip! I mean, how could I do that to y'all? You have busy days with work and studying or both, and who knows if you really even have time to read this. It is a little long. And there's pictures to look at. They're good, right?? I love photography. Oh, wait, I'm getting sidetracked! And reason #3 is....

Holly asked me to be the children's Godmother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am beyond elated, if you couldn't tell. And I'll never forget the moment she asked me--where else, but in a Walgreen's parking lot. And I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I thank God for this opportunity. I still can't believe it. Again with the beaming with pride. It means so much to me that Holly and David would think that much of me to hold me responsible for their children if something happened to them. *BEAM* Wow. I know it's a huge undertaking, not that it's going to happen anytime soon. My question is "When do I get my fairy wand and wings?"

God has truly blessed the socks off of me, clearly because I'm not wearing any. Small joke. Sorry. But seriously, I cannot thank Him enough for this weekend and what it means to me. There's no way. 

I praise my Father for this weekend. I give Him all the glory. I can't even fathom my life without him! I hope that you see something amazing from God today.

I will post baptism pictures later, I don't have them loaded yet! 

Love to all,

-katie

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He

dreamed he was walking along the beach

with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes

from his life. For each scene, he noticed two

sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging

to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed

before him, he looked back at the

footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the

path of his life there was only one set of

footprints. He also noticed that it happened at

the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he

questioned the Lord about it. "Lord,

you said that once I decided to follow you,

you'd walk with me all the way. But I have

noticed that during the most troublesome

times in my life, there is only one set

of footprints. I don't understand why when

I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My son, My precious

child, I love you, and I would never leave

you. During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you."

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--Unknown

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During any sad time, it is easy to turn away from God and rebel. But those are the times when He is the closest. If you listen closely, you can even hear His heartbeat. I thank God for this comfort.

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Hope y'all are having a wonderful Sunday! Pray for safety as I fly back to Little Rock from San Antonio. Pictures are coming soon!! This upcoming post might just be my favorite, ever.

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-katie

Still Standing...

I've been in such a dry spell lately, blog-wise. Well, in other ways too, but that's another post. I've had all the words that I could ask for, but somehow, I couldn't seem to put it on here. I couldn't form my words and get them down in an organized form. Believe me, I've tried. I've started almost 10 posts since the last time.

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I try and try to find the words I'm looking for to give you an idea of how I'm feeling. But it never works, due to either, revealing more than needed (because I still don't know who all reads this), or I get so frustrated that I just stop altogether and ditch the project. But it's time to get back into the game. It's a new month (my favorite, by the way) and I'm going to BLOG!!

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Saturday was Cate's Birthday!! I helped out with my church's youth group's Amazing Race for most of the day! We went to Petit Jean Mountain. It was a beautiful day and lots of fun! But the most fun of that day was getting to spend it with the birthday girl!! :) She is so special to me.

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Happy 13th Birthday Cate!!

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On the other hand, I'm struggling with some things that I would love your prayers on. Intercede friends, intercede. My mom and I are having some issues. That's all I will say. It's been a thing for a while now, but it's getting worse and I'm at a loss at what to do.

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In better news, I have the best job. Pierce is 5 months today, I believe. He is the most precious baby, and the best baby! He is all smiles ALL the time. It is such a joy to watch him learn and discover his world. He makes me laugh which is incredible! And, of course, his parents are wonderful!!

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I hope you are having a decent if not wonderful Monday! Have a wonderful week!

-katie

Breaking Free

I'm starting a new book/Bible study called, "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore. I'm so looking forward to getting into this book and literally break free of everything that is holding me back. I want to discover the victory of total surrender, which is kind of the second title of this book ["Breaking Free: Discover the Victory of Total Surrender"].

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I will hopefully be reading a chapter a day or more and I hope to post my thoughts or an excerpt or two from the book.

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Pray for me as I enter into this book.

-katie

What I see...

matching shirts with my favorite Katerade

capturing this picture in a single second

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I've been trying to see the beauty in the little things.

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I've been trying to see the bigger picture.

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But it's hard to see the bigger picture AND the beauty in the little things. It's only after the storm that you see both. I've never seen both at once, maybe when I'm older...

Adeline, John, and Emily

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I guess reflection is the key. Prayer and study. I still have some learning to do...

New Blog

Lately I've been feeling guilty about my prayer life, which honestly, is anywhere from lite to non-existant. So last night, I began feeling very much pulled to restore my prayer life, or even just start it up. Therefore, I created a blog for my prayer life. I don't care who reads it, but just know that this is me talking to God. Respond if you like. But the one thing I ask is that you pray for me as I reenter this time with the One who made me. . Thank you. . And yes, I will still be updating this blog as well. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. . -katie http://prayerstomyrefuge.blogspot.com/

He is able.

He is able.

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I went to the All-State Youth Choir concert on Sunday night. This was my second year to go see how amazing this group of kids is. They were singing a number of amazing songs. But one caught my ear.

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He is able.

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God has been revealing Himself to me lately. And through these songs, He showed Himself able. He let me know that I can completely trust Him with anything and He will take care of me. I can trust in Him because He cared about me enough to send His Son, Jesus, to die the most cruel death so that I can live forever in Heaven beside Him. If that doesn't blow your mind...I don't know what will.

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MY God is able.

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The one who I rely on is able. He is able to heal me. He is able to provide for me. He is able to fulfill my dreams.

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MY God is able.

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I know He is able. I have no doubt that He was able to heal my dad. I have no doubt in my mind. My continuing thought has always been, "will he?" He is more than capable of giving me what I ask and He could, but will he?

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He is able.

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"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

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Is He able?

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Yes. I pray you know that.

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-katie

I hate this weekend...

I hate this weekend. Every year around this time, I go to the store and buy a Father's Day card. Well, I can't give it to the man I want to. So, my other Dad(s) get one. And it reads with a lighthouse backdrop...

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My Dad Is My Example

There are many examples to follow in life,

many men who are deserving of praise.

Whether doctors, or lawyers, or soldiers of war --

they've given in so many ways.

But of all the men who've accomplished it all --

of all the great leaders we've had --

not one will ever begin to compare

with the example I've had in my dad.

He's taught me his values, he's raised me with love,

he's always shown me his respect;

and though his name may never appear

in bright lights, he's one man you'd never forget.

My dad is my leader, my pattern for life,

and on him I can surely depend.

For I know he will be there

with arms open wide

to be my example --

my friend.

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And inside...

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You've given so much, Dad...

You've blessed my life.

And on this Father's Day,

I want you to know that I love you...

that I'm grateful for the example

you have been to me.

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Happy Father's Day

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I thank God for this man. Dan Berry has been my second father for my entire life. Although my Daddy is gone from this earth, he is not gone from my heart. I'm glad I can call on my Heavenly Father and my second earthly father to comfort me.

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Tell your Father that you appreciate him. Tell him that you love him. Tell him all those things that you can't. Tell him because I can't. I can't tell my Daddy that he was the best Daddy in the world. I can't tell him that even though we fought, I still looked up to him and respected him. I can't tell him how I need him here to talk to me when I'm unsure, to bail me out when I'm in trouble, and to comfort me when I cry.

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I miss my Daddy so much sometimes it hurts. I can't wait to see him again...

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-katie

Mega Update! Ready?

Over the past month, I have been a traveler. I have gone from Kerrville, TX to Murphreesboro, TN to DC and back. It has been wonderful, but I'm ready for a summer of home. Enjoy!

These are my TX babies! (l to r) Cameron, Kaleb, me, and Trinity

again, with Tori on the end.

My cousin, Blake, got married in TN. This is me and him at their rehearsal dinner!

This is Blake and our grandmother, Wanda.

Blake's new son, Dawson and their flowergirl, Bella.

Granny and me.

Papaw, me, and Mamaw. (Mom's dad and stepmom)

me & Blake--we have a special relationship.

Blake and his bride, Tara!

My best friend, Sarah, graduated from college!! So proud!

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Then, I went to DC! :)

Washington Monument

WWII Memorial

Lincoln Memorial

The Capitol

I'm clearly warning Lincoln...

Sitting in Sadie's future office.

Heck yes, I met Johnny Depp.

AND Julia Roberts. Fav.

AAAAAND...OPRAH!

This is for all the Mom's out there who feel overwhelmed.

frickin' awesome!!

Ruby slippers.

The melting pot--absolute fav.

about to kill ourselves with the sugar.

Sadie!

friends!

still friends in front of Molly the trolley

Amazing substitute mom!!

Meeting Angie Smith!!

Meeting Todd Smith!!

Blessings...

God has been putting amazing things in my path lately. Wonderful Bible verses for encouragement. A vindication at work. A long-awaited vacation. Amazing friends. And, one amazing Mom! (Not in that order, of course!)

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This week I'm in Texas--that long-awaited vacation I was talking about. I am visiting people that I used to babysit for who have morphed into friends...more like family. They have become like my sister and brother-in-law and my nieces and nephews! I love them oh so much. I am in complete disbelief that I am here with them, but I am ecstatic! A 10 hour drive was soooo worth it! I will post pictures when I get back. I can't believe that they are so big. The youngest was a newborn when I started watching them. And by newborn, I don't mean a couple of months old...I mean they were in the hospital having him when they called me. I was there when they brought him home from the hospital. It's been almost 5 and a half years. It absolutely blows my mind that they are (almost) 15, 9, 7, and (almost) 5 and a half. Yes, there are 4 of them! I love all the chaos that goes on! It's almost hard for me to believe that I've been out of that chaos for a year. It's sad at the same time, because, oddly, I've missed it.

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More pictures will be here later...but here's a little preview!

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Restoration

My mood is just terrible. And I'm not sure why. I'm not missing my dad, I mean, I'm always missing him, but it's not why I'm in a bad mood. I haven't been able to take a joke for 2 days now. I feel terrible for the people around me who have to endure this.

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I'm over at a friend's house right now. She is so sweet, making me laugh and such. She is just so so incredible. Her kids make me laugh so much and I love that.

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I'm also going to TX a week from tomorrow to visit friends who I haven't seen in a year. I cannot wait. I've been counting down the days and waiting and saving. I couldn't be happier.

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Except that I could be happier. I've just been getting back into a regular Bible study after an embarrassing 4+ year abstain from it. I have been so tired and drained lately. So tired and drained in fact that last night I didn't feel like getting my daily dose of wisdom from my Father. And the other fact of the matter was that I only got just a teaspoons worth of wisdom. I woke up and was late to work this morning...4 minutes, but still. It turned out okay though because I stayed late and made up for my missed minutes. :)

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I'm coming out of it even as we speak. Thank God!

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"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth,

for the first heaven and the first earth

had passed away,

and there was no longer any sea.

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem

coming out of heaven from God,

prepared as a bride beautifully

dressed for her husband.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,

'Now the dwelling of God is with men,

and he will live with them.

They will be his people,

and God himself will be with them

and be their God.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes.

There will be no more death or mourning

or crying or pain,

for the old order of things has passed away.'

He who was seated on the throne said,

'I am making everything new!'

Then he said, 'Write this down,

for these words are trustworthy and true.'"

--Revelation 21:1-5

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I pray I get out of this bad mood, and fast. It's already happening. :) Thanks, friends.

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-katie

It's the Climb

Life...is hard. It's a laugh. It's a tear. But in Miley Cyrus' song "The Climb" It's the climb that's exciting.

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"There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose"

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I never remember that when in the game of Life, I'm going to stumble and fall flat on my face. I'm going to lose. I hate admitting that. In a perfect world, I would win all the time. I would've made the grades to graduate with honors in high school. I would've gotten into an amazing college, the first time. I would've graduated with honors. I would meet the perfect man for me. We would get married and start a family. Our children would be beautiful and they would never get hurt. They would know the Lord and thrive from His direction. Instead, I didn't try hard enough in high school to make it to an honorable graduation. I hated college (the first time). I loved college, the second time. I didn't try enough, again, to graduate honorably. I haven't met the perfect man that God has set apart for me. I haven't had beautiful children of my own. I lost my dad when I was 17 and I've let that affect me in different parts of my life, both negatively and positively.

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Now, don't get me wrong. I have definitely loved a lot of the past almost 8 years of my life. I had a lot of days of laughter. I had birthdays and Christmases and Fridays! I've had days of talking with friends about what matters in life. Heart to heart chats lift my spirits. I've kept amazing kids in 8 years. I just can't even express how much fun I've had in and out of high school and then in and out of college!

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I hope there is much more life for me to live. I hope that God blesses me immensely and grants me with the desires of my heart (Ps. 37:4). I can't wait to see the fun and love that my life has to come. I won't be scared of it anymore.

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May the Lord bless you and keep you.

-katie

Who cares?

Who cares about Valentine's Day? Who cares to get flowers from the one they love? Who cares to spend the day getting showered with love and devotion? Who cares to get appreciated on this one day? . I do. I want the man I love to show me their heartfelt love toward me. "Where is that man?", you ask? Well, I don't know. But I do know that God is that man right now. . "I have loved you with an everlasting love[...]" Jeremiah writes in his 31st chapter. And how true that is! He has loved us from the beginning of time. .

"For God so loved the world

that He gave His one and only Son,

that whosoever believes in Him

shall not perish but have everlasting life."

John 3:16

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How can I compare the love of a spouse or a significant other to the love of God? His love is so deep and so wide that no one can measure it. The greatest mathmaticians cannot do enough math to equate the depth and width of the Lord.

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One thing I love about Valentine's Day is the glow of the people who are in love around me. I love people watching and seeing the love in their eye. Seeing that first date glow. Every touch is amazing. Every joke is hilarious. I would love to just take pictures of those events, without being creepy. Which brings me to a fun subject!

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On Wednesday, I'm taking the engagement pictures of Amanda Bates and Sean Page!! I cannot wait to capture their love and friendship! I will surely post a few pictures of the success that I know is bound to happen. I mean, how can you take a bad picture of such a beautiful couple and of course, Amanda's son, Bear! It will be epic and so much fun!

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Sorry this post was so random and everywhere.

Thanks for reading,

-katie

4 years...4 words

It's almost been 2 months since I've posted. I haven't had internet at home since before Christmas. Which reminds me, late Merry Christmas to you all. Happy New Year, too! I hope that this new year has brought many new blessings to you all.

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Four years ago today my dad went to be with Jesus in Heaven. He fought for life for three weeks but on February 2, 2006 at 2:45 p.m., my dad lost that fight. I remember him everyday of my life without him, but today especially. I take this day off from any corporate business, but if I do work, I babysit. The kids are so calming to me and give me a strength and a love that cannot be duplicated. The kids just make life spring out of me. They have no worries. They don't have anything holding them back in life. Hopefully, they haven't had anything happen to them like what happened to me. But then again, how would they know, depending on how young they are. They have such a joy and zest for life that many of us in this world would be blessed to encounter. I am blessed to encounter that every week.

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I'm so thankful for my dad. He taught me a considerable amount of lessons in life. But, he taught me a phrase that has stuck with me since the first day he said it.

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"Remember Whose you are."

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I remember I was going on a class trip, Vicksburg, VA, I believe. My mom was taking me to meet the bus and before I left, Dad pulled me aside and uttered those four amazing words, "Remember Whose you are". And I knew from that day, that phrase would stay with me and be my life's motto for as long as I lived. I knew even then, I would say it to my children. My dad kept saying it over and over. "God is always with you. Remember Whose you are. Be aware of how you're perceived. Remember Whose you are." I can't thank him enough for being that amazing example in my life.

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Just after midnight this morning, I was remembering where I was at that time. I was at home sleeping, I'm sure. But I was trying to figured out where in the process I was--what had happened the day before (Feb 1, 2006). I can remember that I went to school that day. I just finished lunch and tried to call my mom to see how Dad was doing, but my phone wasn't working. I went with Malia to call from the school's office. Mom picked up and I could hear in her voice a fear that I had never heard before. She said, "He's not doing well. Dale and Tori are coming to pick you up to bring you here." Dale and Tori were and still are good friends of ours. My dad and Dale were good friends. They went hunting together some and what bonds men more than hunting? But anyway, I basically just said, ok and hung up the phone after a dramatic "I love you".

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I filled Malia and my best friends Sarah and Sadie in on what was happening and asked them to tell my teachers I wouldn't be in class for the rest of the day. So, I gathered my stuff and went outside to wait on Dale. Tori's van pulled up and I heard a voice calling my name. It was my english teacher Teresa Walker. She is a completely incredible woman who scooped me up in her arms and said "The rest of my day's classes will be spent in prayer for you and your family. I love you baby girl. Everything is going to be okay." At that moment I started crying (even remembering it, tears stream down my face) and she just held me there for a few minutes it felt like. When I finally gained my strength, Tori hugged me and we were on our way to the hospital. And honestly, I have no memory of that particular ride.

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I do remember getting up in the room where my dad was in ICU. He had tubes sticking out of him and I didn't quite understand. I found out later that he was hooked up to a ventilator to keep the stress off of his heart. The doctor came in and told us he only had 24 hours to live. And despite the horrible news, I had sweet moments with a few people there.

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The next day I woke up and wanted to go to school but Mom insisted th

at I go to the hospital with her. We were at the hospital for most of the day, but after lunch my aunt (Dad's sister) offered to take me home to clean our house up a little bit. I was about to leave, but I remember going up to my dad's bed and stroked his cheek and said, "Daddy, I'm going home. I love you." He blinked hard several times, holding back tears. I turned away, trying not to cry, when my aunt said, "He mouthed 'I love you too'." I cried on the way home. But, after a while of cleaning up, I went to school to pick up some homework. The carpool line was ridiculously long, so I had to wait to get up to the high school. I remember looking at the clock and 2:45 and feeling this indescribable peace flood me. And I heard a little whisper, "It's all going to be ok, I'm here". I knew it was God's small voice.

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Class was out when I finally parked my car and got out. People started come up to me from the gym, especially from my class, telling me that they were praying for me and my family. I thanked them and went into the building. Waiting there for me was my English teacher, Teresa Walker, my choir director, Jani Quay, my friends, Sarah, Sadie, Brooke, Becky, Marla, Katie, Julielle, Kappie, and my friend’s pastor, Charles Chamblee. After lots of tears, Mrs. Walker convinced me that I needed to be with my family. She took me in her car to the hospital and by the time I got there; all of my family and best friends were there in the waiting room. I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who cared for me and my mom.

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But, before I could greet them all, I was brought back to the ICU. The doors opened and my mom was standing at the nurses station, which was very strange because she had always been in Dad's room. I walk up to her and our hug lasts a minute before I can ask, "Is he gone?" My mom confirmed the news and the tears started flowing. I couldn't believe it. He was dead and would never breathe on this earth again. But all I could do right then was praise God for his life. All I wanted to do, was go into the waiting room and hug all my family and laugh with my friends. And I did. They were all so sweet to wait. I called a few people to let them know that he passed. But it was just a time to be thankful. And I am, every day of my life.

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Thank you to everyone who has been there. I love you all.

-katie