You have no idea what you mean to me. I'm writing you this letter because I could never say this in person. I wouldn't be able to get through it without breaking down.
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You are so special to me, even more now. Your friendship is so incredibly meaningful to me. You're a wonderful listener. You make me laugh a lot! And I know that God meant for our paths to cross in this life. He meant for us to be friends for lots of reasons, this being one of them. I know you've heard the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason." Well, I've never understood it and I still don't. It's possible that I'll never understand it. But in some way, I know it's true. God planned this in such an amazing way to let both of us know that we are never alone. I know that people are put in our lives for incredible reasons. People come and go before us so that we can, in some way, be helped and comforted by their stories and experiences.
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I know you'll remember this. Remember in Grey's when George's dad dies and Christina is talking to him. She welcomes him into the "Club". The Dead Dad's Club. As of Monday night, you became a member, and Bek, it breaks my heart to welcome you into that club. I never like welcoming a new member, nor do I get excited about club meetings or events. But the club discussions truly do bring a comforting feeling and remind me that everyone else feels the same things that I do.
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Remembering my dad and how everything happened, comes in flashes especially in times like these. But our dads will be in our hearts forever. You are an incredible person and through this time you will find out things about yourself, good and bad. My dad's favorite phrase was, "Don't forget Whose you are." Every time I went on a trip or a sleepover, or even something as simple as going to school, he would always tell me not to forget Whose I am. It would remind me to always honor, not only my family with my words and actions, but more importantly--my Heavenly Father.
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Bek, we talked on Wednesday when we had dinner, about people who say they care. But we always wondered where they were beforehand. And soon, I'm afraid, you will wonder where they have gone. Well, even when people forget details and drift away as most will, He never will. He will always be there for you. I also remember a talk a while back about how sometimes that doesn't help. "My dad's not here with me," we say. But Bek, look where he is right now. The most indescribable place we could ever imagine--beyond our imagination! Heaven absolutely just blows my mind when I think about it. I can't stop thinking about the streets of gold and the pearly gates. But more than that, to imagine a place where there is no pain, tears, worry, and sorrow is absolutely incredible. We cannot begin to know what that is like. We are so filled with worry, pain, and grief here on Earth, that we cannot fathom the intensity of Heaven. But he is there with my dad. I just know it.
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I loved your dad, Bek, and I truly cannot believe he is gone and that we are both fatherless. But we need to remember and cling to the fact that our Heavenly Father loves us more than our daddy's ever did. He wants us to come before Him even when we are angry. He can do anything.
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"The Lord your God is with you.
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love..."
Zephaniah 3:17
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"Come to Me, all you who
are weary and heavy-burdened
and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28
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Bek, God has shown me so many things about life and death and everything in between. I am just now coming back to Him with all my needs. It takes time to heal and don't you ever let anyone rush you or make you feel bad for not doing things. Grief is an individual process. Just remember, you can always talk to Him--always. He's always there in your heart, all you have to do it talk. He knows what you're thinking anyway so, you might as well just say it out loud. ;)
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I love you so much. You are like a sister to me. Let me know how you're feeling. Tell me you want and need to get out. I am here for you. I will always be here for you. Always, always remember that, ok? Ask me anything you want and I'll tell you what I know and what I've learned. And we will learn some things together. I know what you're going through. I love you.
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All My Love,
katie
