Stay Tuned...

I am cooking up a really good entry that will be posted in the very near future! Can you guess what it's about? Probably not...

Good Luck!
-katie

Update on Life

I have had absolutely no motivation for just about everything in my life lately.

No motivation for school--yes, I'm back in school (YAY!). I'm supposed to be reading right now.

No motivation for exercising.

No motivation for blogging.

No energy overall.

The only thing that gets me energized or excited anymore is getting to go see my godchildren. I cannot wait to see them in less than 2 weeks! Sometimes, I think it would be easier for me to just move down there. That's another post.

"My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever."

--Psalm 73:26

I've also had a hard time with actually nailing down a major to focus on in my college experience. Speech Therapy? Teaching? Business? Culinary Arts? There are so many choices! In my opinion, there are two reasons why I've had such a hard time declaring a major. 1--My mom killed my dream of a Neonatal Nurse with reality(forget that I'm not that great with science)...and 2--all I've ever wanted to be is a Mom. That's the only consistency in my life desires. So keeping in mind the future family that I plan to have, I think I'd rather be a Teacher. I'm scared to death of this decision, but it's been sticking for about a week now, so I feel pretty confidant that it will be around for a long time. Pray me through this friends. I'm gonna need it!

Also, an UPDATE on my goddaughter Trinity. She's back at home now which is good for the family. They did find out that she has a tumor, which I believe is benign, at the base of her skull located in between the pituitary gland and her brain stem, I believe. Please pray that the tumor will not be there when they go back in 2 months. It's happened before and I know that God can do this. I believe it. I'm going to commit to praying everyday and whenever I think about it until they go back. I'll also be posting my prayers on my prayer blog. I believe that God is still in the miracle business. I hope that you are too.

How can you say no to praying for this beautiful little girl and her healing??

~PRAY FOR TRINITY~

-katie

Intercede, Friends, Intercede

I'm trying to figure out how to start this post and I just cannot find the words. Instead of thinking about what I want to say, I'm just going to spit it out.

Last night/Early this morning, I got a call from the mother of my godchildren. We had been playing phone tag and she finally got ahold of me at midnight--yes, I was sleeping. I figured she just wanted to chat and this was an "I'll call you back tomorrow" call. It wasn't. We talked about how things were going with them. She started telling me about doctors appointments for the kids.

My precious Kaleb has a form of Autism called Aspergers. He has some problems in social settings especially being bullied. Anyway, he's had some problems with his lazy eye and it turns out that his brain has actually turned that eye off. BUT, the God-thing is that his vision in that eye, is 20/20! This is SUCH a blessing, friends. You see, if he didn't have perfect vision in this eye, they couldn't do surgery to fix it. Since he does have perfect vision in that eye, they CAN fix it! Praise the Lord! And yet, in spite of this great news, she was about to tell me something that would keep me up half the night and not have a good night's sleep when I did finally get to sleep.

My sweet little Trinity has been having some trouble lately. Trouble with her endocrine system, to be specific--and that's as specific as I need to be. All-in-all, the doctors had to do an x-ray and if it comes back showing that her "bone age" is more than 8, she could have a tumor. Benign or not, this is a huge burden.

Last night, I kept telling Holly, Trinity's mom, we need to start praying and we don't need to stop.

"Always be joyful.

Never stop praying.

Be thankful in all circumstances,

for this is God's will for you

who belong to Christ Jesus."

--1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

After we hung up, I was going to talk to God. I really like praying at night when I'm in bed. I used to think falling asleep while praying was something terrible, but now I love falling asleep in the arms of my Lord. It's probably my favorite thing. But this time, I couldn't find the words to express my feelings or distress. It's still hard for me to know what I really want to say. Part of me wants to explode and ask God why He would do this to my little Trinity. And the other part of me knows that there's no point. There's no point in getting mad and asking "why?". I've learned from experience that it doesn't help. So what did I pray, you ask? It went a little something like this:

Father, I need you more than ever right now.

God, I'm praying for my sweet goddaughter,

Trinity Celeste Tucker. I'm interceding on her behalf

to ask You, the God of the Universe, 

Jehovah Rophi--God who Heals, 

to put your Healing Hand on her little body.

I'm asking for a complete healing. I want the doctor's to 

scratch their heads in disbelief. I want your power

to be SO evident that there isn't any doubt of 

who is at work. Father, Trinity has such a heart for you.

She loves talking about you and to you. She is 

amazed by you. I wish I had her faith. I'm begging

You to heal her completely. May all the glory go to You.

We will praise no one other than the

One who created her. But overall, Father, I pray that 

Your Will Be Done.

Thank You, Father. I love you.

Amen.

My belief is in the power of the Lord. May He be glorified through this trial and may He heal my sweet little Trinity. I believe He can.

I believe...

One Day...

Hello friends! I was once again a travelin' gal this past weekend. This time I was in Springfield, MO. I was there for the weekend spending some time with my cousin and his wife, Jarrod and Caira. My aunt and I drove up after I got off work on Thursday. I was so glad to have a day off and a weekend to spend with family. These 3 people mean so much to me. I can't imagine my life without these people in my life.

Caira & Jarrod on their wedding day (May '08)

I went up there for Caira's BABY shower on Saturday!! I'm so excited that these 2 people are embarking on yet another wonderful journey together.

Their baby is a GIRL!! And they will name her Addisyn Preslee when she makes her debut sometime around November 29th! I cannot wait to meet this precious blessing. She is already so loved and so wanted. I hope she knows how much her parents and extended family loves her. I know she will. And I know that she will know the love of God. Gosh, I just cannot wait until Thanksgiving! This kid is going to be so spoiled--I can't wait to be apart of it.

Also, a very Happy Birthday to Jarrod!!! He turns 30 today. He's like a big brother to me. I just love him so much!

I so admire Jarrod and Caira as people and in their marriage. There is communication, fun, love, respect, and fairness. I hope I find the same thing she found. One day, friends, one day... In the mean time, I will seek the one who made me and pursue him because he pursued me first.

Hope you all have a great long weekend!!
-katie

Willis's--May '11

Cate--13

Graham--11

My little model!

She is beautiful!!

All-American Boy--Jackson--15

We are special.

They love me.

Completely Loved by Our Creator & Witness

I started a 30-day Devotion, Completely Loved: Recognizing God's Passionate Pursuit of Us, by Shannon Ethridge, yesterday. God has already showed me how valuable I am to Him. It's incredible. I can't believe I haven't started this earlier.

Day 1 starts off with the creation story--what better way to start?? The title to day 1 is "Completely Loved by...Our Creator". I love that. Because who loves us more than Who created us? We think our parents have the ultimate love for us, but we are oh so wrong. God's love for us is immeasurable and honestly, I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm just now figuring that out. I don't need anyone other that Him. He knows what we need and who we are. Here's an excerpt from day 1:

"We find passion and joy in walking with the One who designed every part of us. He designed our minds, so He knows how to put us at ease. He created our bodies, so He knows how to strengthen us. He formed our hearts, so He knows how to thrill and delight us. He molded our spirits, so He knows our innermost desires; and only He can satisfy those desires."

And every day ends with a prayer (who would've thought??). And wouldn't you know that the one thing I've really been insecure about my entire life, Shannon addresses in the very first devotion. Blows my mind. After I read it yesterday, I just looked up and said, "Ok, Lord, I get it." The prayer reads like this:

"Creator God, Help me recognize Your beauty and wonder evident throughout all of creation---from the tiniest DNA molecule to the galaxies far beyond our awareness. But most of all, help me to recognize Your beauty and wonder when I look at myself."

You see, in my entire life, I've never thought of myself as beautiful. Never. THIS explains it all.

Day 2 is entitled "Completely Loved by...Our Witness". Today starts out talking about Hagar and how she felt unnoticed by God. She has a son by Abraham, Sarai's husband. She gets treated so harshly by her. She even runs away pregnant with Ishmael, her son, and she sees an angel. The angel tells her to go back and take whatever Sarai can dish out.

"And the angel also said, 'You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ismael (which means 'God hears'), for the LORD has heard your cry of distress. This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.'"

Shannon points out in here that Hagar didn't put up a fight against this angel. I am amazed at that. I would definitely protest and ask the angel to, instead give me a son who is not a "wild man". But Shannon is right when she says this:

"Her response indicates that she was at peace with her situation, regardless of how difficult it must have been. Why? Because she looked past her situation to recognize that GOD ACTUALLY SAW HER. Her Maker knew her plight and was a witness to her life. That seemed to satisfy her; it was enough for her to simply know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God saw her and her circumstances."

I love the next verse--verse 13. I feel like this is Hagar's "AH-HA" moment.

"Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the LORD, who had spoken to her. She said, 'You are the God who sees me.' She also said, 'Have I truly seen the One who sees me?'"

I love love love how Shannon Ethridge brings forth a new idea. I am truly thankful for this book series. I can't wait to dive into the rest of the books!! She ends today with another prayer:

"Dear God, I may not understand why it feels so important to be noticed at times, but I thank You that nothing in my life goes unnoticed by You. Even though you witness my  finest and worst moments, You never stop cheering me on, and for that I am eternally grateful."

Have a wonderful weekend!

-katie

SO Late.

I completely forgot to post pictures from Pierce's 1st Birthday!! Pierce, Jennifer (his mom), and I went on a short visit to the zoo on his birthday--May 4th. He had so much fun and Jennifer and I spent most of the trip wiping our foreheads of sweat (boy, was it hot!!) and holding our noses from the stench. It was a most entertaining day!

ENJOY!

This was Pierce's "Thank You" cards for his Birthday Party!

So funny!

Yes, we put him in one of those. :)

THEN...we went to Cantina Laredo for birthday lunch! Yes, I realize that a gourmet mexican restaurant isn't exactly kid-friendly--but it sure was delicious!!

"I like chips"

Happy 1 year old!

See his teeth??

He wasn't sure about the sparkler--I, however, loved it!

The mango cake was DELICIOUS!

Kisses for Momma!

Like I said--we had a great day and he was so good the whole day! 

Seriously though--I will post those Willis pictures tomorrow! PROMISE!! :)

Have a great day!

-katie

Update in Pictures!

As I said in a previous post, I was in TX for my Goddaughter's baptism last weekend (9-10th). I've quite possibly never seen a baptism quite as sweet as this one. Trinity is sweet anyway and it was an honor to actually see her commit her life to Christ and see her follow that up with baptism. Honor--I can't think of a better word. I am one blessed gal. 

 Me & Trinity

What made this baptism so special and sweet was that Trinity's dad, David, got to baptize her. I wish I wasn't afraid of showing too much emotion, because I would've let the waters flow. I did tear up, so, I'm improving, but still. This moment was so sweet for the entire family. 

David & Trinity praying

Asking Trinity who Jesus is to her and how He has changed her life

Such a proud Daddy

(I still tear up looking at these pictures.)

The sweetest hug you've ever seen in your life.

Me & Holly, Trinity's Mom

(Might as well be my sister)

Tori, Kaleb, Cameron, me & Trinity

I couldn't be more proud of these kids. And I can't wait to see what God has in store for their life in the years to come. I constantly thank God for them. I have no idea where I would be without this family. 

Hope you all have a wonderful week!

-katie

P.S. I will post pictures from that photo shoot I did of the Willis's very soon!! :)

Weakness

I have struggled with something for a long time, I feel like my whole life. But I've just now realized that this has become one of my weaknesses since my dad passed away over 5 years ago. 

Insecurity and/or No Self-confidence

Here is my list of what I am secure and confident about: 

I am confident that I am good at my job.

I am confident that God sent His Son to die on a cross for my sins so that if I accept His free gift of Salvation, I can live for eternity in Heaven. 

I am confident that my family loves me.

Now I know to some of you that makes me pretty confident--pretty rich. Not a lot of people have that confidence. But that's not the kind of confidence I am talking about. 

I don't know if I can go to college and graduate.

I don't know that the major I picked is the right one for me.

I am not confident that I will be successful.

I am not confident about my future.

I don't think I'm beautiful.

I don't know if someone will be able to love me.

And I don't know I will be able to love that person in return.

The one thing that I do have...is hope. I have hope that these things won't be issues in the future. I hope and pray that God will address these. I am confident in that.

I have recently started believing in myself which is kind of a big deal. I've started thinking about how it might be possible that I could finish school and graduate and possibly go on to graduate school. I never would've considered this before and honestly, I'm not sure why I'm thinking about it now. 

I have been talking with a friend of mine about how I need a change. I need something different in my life and while I know moving out is the answer, I'm having a hard time accepting it. She's been great in making me realize how important this is/would be. She's a true friend. But while, I know I need to move out and be on my own and independent--I'm not ready for that at all. Mentally, financially, even spiritually. 

I am terrified of failure. Who isn't? But, I have an abnormal fear of failure. I am so afraid to fail that I won't even try. If I don't try to start anything or to do anything new, then I won't fail. I have realized that is not the way to live, but it's hard to change once you've done that your whole life. I am trying to trust in my Lord and Savior to help me through this. I'm hoping my friends will too--I know they will. 

I found this quote yesterday and I love it. I've always thought of myself as a strong person, but this sheds a while new light on that subject. 

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong,

but sometimes, it's letting go."

Herman Hesse

Pray me through this friends. 

Travel!

My life lately has been all about work and making/saving money and to be honest, it hasn't been going too well. Work is great. I love Pierce. He's getting so big and learning so much. So happy I got this opportunity.

This month I'm going to and from Texas--San Antonio to be exact to spend time with my godchildren. I was there for the 4th of July weekend and had so much fun. We went to Sea World two days in a row--got my first sunburn of the summer. So happy I got to be there for a little more than a weekend.  I came back on Tuesday with my godson Kaleb!

We had such a good ride back to LR. Nine and a half hours of talking, then silence, then some more talking. We laughed some which was wonderful. I don't know how long it's been since I spent individual time with Kaleb. I love it!

I'm going back with Kaleb on Saturday and unfortunately staying until about 2 on Sunday. But, I am so excited about it, because Trinity--my little princess Trinity is getting baptized!!!! 

I am just so proud of her!! She is literally the sweetest child I've ever encountered. She prayed over a meal this weekend and her heart is for others. She prayed for the homeless and she thanked her Lord for my safe travels and prayed for my safe return home. I just love her so much. I can't imagine loving her anymore than I already do! 

Hope you all had a safe 4th of July weekend! I know I missed the fireworks since SA is banned from any kind of fireworks for fear of fire.

Short post--I know. Have a great week!

-katie

P.S. Pictures to come!!