I was sitting here reading my cousin's blog--kinda starting from the beginning and working my way toward the present. Well I never made it to the present. I ran across the post from when my dad passed and it was very funny and sweet. I kind of let my mind wander while I stared at the computer screen. I've been struggling with the idea and the execution of joy. So, in letting my mind wander, I feel like God put a vision in my head. I had a vision of what leaving this Earth and going to Heaven would be like. In my vision, I was dead and in Heaven and all that I could focus on was seeing the Lord and all of my family and friends who were waiting for me to join them. I wasn't thinking about who I had left behind and how much pain they were in. I could see my dad and he was such a beautiful sight. He was perfect. I could see his huge smile that I miss so much, that I see every time I look in the mirror. This vision made me miss him even more but I know, deep in my heart, that I will see him again one day. I've never wanted to go to Heaven more than I do right now. I've heard that the people who are deepest in their walk with Christ want to go to Heaven more than anything in the entire world. My great aunt Madge was exactly that way. She loved God so much--every time I saw her, she would say something about how she couldn't wait to be with her God and Julian (her late husband).
This weekend has really opened my eyes to finding real joy in my everyday life. I can't think of a better person or idea to put my trust and hope in (which I've also had trouble with lately). We had a Youth Girls' Retreat and joy was the topic--just what I needed to hear.
"The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy and
I will give thanks to Him in song."
Psalm 28:7
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
Psalm 51:12
"Be joyful in hope,
patient in affliction,
faithful in prayer."
Romans 12:12
"May the God of hope
fill you with all joy and peace
as you trust in Him,
so that you may overflow with hope
in the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13
I'm going to try to go to sleep now--1:13 am. doesn't agree with me
-katie
1 comment:
so i know it's in an entirely different way, but I struggle with the joy thing, too. Romans 15:13 is one of my favorite passages because I like this image of overflowing. Kind of like the desire to be in Heaven with our Creator and those we've lost, like that woman at your church-- just ever-present, overflowing, positive expectations for the future. Hard to accomplish, because it is impossible on our own. I'm so glad you are craving that joy, and praise Him for spurring you on to that desire. I love you, friend and am so very thankful for you!
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