Worry and Comfort

I've been having a rough semester in school so far. So much work with so little self-confidence. This is one of my many faults. And I don't admit that to just anyone. And not many people have ever noticed it. I'm really good at hiding or casting the glance away from myself. This is something that I have been trying to work on. Believe me, I will be a work-in-progress for a while. I need to get better at just letting go, in a way. But yet, I also want to guard my heart and mind. I am being taught my everything and everyone around me.  He is working on me and I am thankful.

God has been faithful, I have learned, throughout my life. I just never saw it. Hindsight, right? He has seen me through so many trials, mistakes, and triumphs. And I am thankful for all three. They have shaped me into the crazy, mess of a person that is typing to you right now.

I have been worried about my future lately. Am I making the right choice? Am I where You want me to be? Am I on track for Your Will in my life? Will this path lead me to what I want out of life?

Selfish, I know. I can't lie--I want to know these things.

And just a little while ago, I started thinking about it again. I could no more get two words out of my mouth into a prayer and God spoke a verse into my heart and brought me comfort. 

"'For I know the plans I have for you,'

says the LORD.

'They are plans for good, not for disaster,

to give you a future and a hope.'"

--Jeremiah 29:11 [NLT]

Now, I will not say that my worry is completely gone, but it has severely diminished. I have talked to so many friends and mentors about this and I have felt even more lost. But I barely get two words out to my Savior and He comforts me immediately. I am thankful and I will praise Him. 

Thank You, Lord! 

-katie

I'm baaaaaack!!

Oh, God is good. Can I just throw that out there?? He is SO good. It has been a CRAZY 5 months since I last posted. A lot has gone on. I have tons to tell you and update. Since I last posted, I have spent lots of time with my godchildren, gotten a new job, gone to 2 weddings, and made 3 A's in school. I am blessed. I can't put it anymore plainly than that.

I will post more about these events in the near future, but for now here are the highlights!

Me and my godson, Kayden Matthew Lewis Tucker

Isn't he gorgeous!

My beautiful friend/sister, Marla and me at her wedding

Celebrated my 24th Birthday & Easter with my family!

(Teri &; J, me, Jarrod &; Caira)

Another of Kayden 

The whole family of 7

(Kayden, Holly, Cameron, Tori, Trinity, David, Kaleb)

Mom got married and here's the new family

(Ian, me, Mom, Tim, Ashley, Shane)

Sadie, me and Sarah just showing the definition of our friendship

Caira, Addi, and Jarrod
(my favorites)

All (but 2) of the cousins
(Cassidy, Beth, Blake & Audrey, Tara & Dawson, Chase, Jarrod & Addi, me, Caira)

I have been truly blessed this summer. I have started a new job with the cutest kids ever and I love it! I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be apart of this family. Blessed. God is good.

Until next time...

-katie

Update

Well, hello there friends. It's been a while.

Since my last post, I have enjoyed meeting my new godson Kayden Matthew Lewis Tucker! He is absolutely precious. I hate that I have to miss the firsts of his life, but that is the down-side to living 500+ miles away. I am thankful for technology though. Calling, texting, and texting pictures of Kayden and the rest of the kids has made me feel great! I just hope he always knows who I am and how much he means to me! And I'm excited to say that I'll be headed back down there either at the end of the month, or middle of April. I CANNOT WAIT!

I started my job! Yay! I'm currently a teller at a bank and loving it. God certainly placed that in my life for a reason. And I sure am thankful for it. This is a great job with great people and great opportunities.

I'm so thankful for great friends in my life. My age, older, younger--I don't care. I learn something from them all and I am grateful! I need to post pictures soon, but my computer is currently on the fritz. So, I guess it'll be a while before that happens since I have to get my computer fixed. #storyofmylife Sorry for the hashtag, but I felt it necessary.

Hope y'all have a wonderful rest of the week and weekend! I'll be at a Bachelorette weekend starting Friday. So excited about it! I'm ready to celebrate this friend! :)

-katie

Goals?

My life might be officially on the way to starting. After nineteen days of searching and waiting and applying, I finally have a job! I'm going to be a bank teller at a bank here in Little Rock. I am so beyond thrilled. This is the job that I wanted and I'm so glad that it all worked out. I have a good feeling that God has something up his sleeve for me on this path. I am praising God and giving Him the glory for this opportunity! I am trusting that He is going to get me through the next month with all the learning this new job entails, not to mention studying for school as well.

Lately I've been thinking about "my plan" for my life. I know that God laughs every time someone talks about their plan for their life. We are human. Imperfect. So we do things like, think we can plan out our lives like we think they'll turn out. I've already failed at my life plan, so I'm not even sure why I still have one. Well, I don't really have one anymore... But, my life plan included graduating from college at 22, getting married anytime in my 23rd year of life, start having kids at 25. That's really all I had on my life list because for my entire life, the only thing I've ever wanted to do in my life is be a wife and mother. I've never had any career goals for my life. Well, I've never really had any other goals either. I've always wanted to travel, but I always wanted to be a Mom more. I guess I always figured I'd just travel with my family. I do want to travel with my family, give them culture and such. There's not really a point until they're old enough to enjoy and remember it. There will always be pictures, but I'd rather my kids have pictures AND memories. I guess I just want the best of both worlds.

But, even more lately, I've been wanting to travel and not just to see my godchildren. I want to go to different places and just explore the cities. These are the places I want to go as of right now(that I can think of):

San Diego, CA
Hawaii
Italy
England
Israel
Boston, MA
Savannah, GA
South Carolina

That's all that I can think of at the moment. Other goals of mine are to graduate from college, eventually (I have no time limit on this). To, one day, be a wife and a mother. To fall in love with reading and exercising (not at the same time). And to realize what I want to do with my life, career wise.

I think those are pretty reasonable goals right now, especially when I don't have a limit on when they should happen. Maybe? Maybe not. I don't have a clue.

-katie

Mary's Faith

So, I'm back from Springfield! Well, I've been back since Sunday afternoon, but I'm just now getting to write. It was INCREDIBLE. I got to see my cousin and his wife, their baby girl, and my aunt, Addi's grandma! I got to hold Addi for the first time and boy, was it spectacular! I've never been that close with a birth before. It's always been a friend giving birth. It's never been a family member that I've been this close with before. Jarrod and Caira are like a brother and sister-in-law to me. So, in turn I feel like an aunt. Self-declared, of course.

On another note...

The last few Christmases have been really different for me. Obviously because of my dad's passing, but it seems more than that. I'm more thankful or less shallow than before. It's been strange to see the transformation of the holidays in my eyes. But, in a way, I'm glad for it. I'm glad the presents really don't matter anymore. It's about spending time with the ones you love, family and friends. And most importantly, it's about the birth of the One who came to save the world. 

This time of year, I love reading Luke 1:26-38, the "Birth of Jesus foretold". It tells of the angel visiting Mary and prophesying the fact that she was going to have a son despite her having never been with a man. It's such an incredible account of what happened back then. And what shocks me the most isn't the immaculate conception, but Mary's willingness. She doesn't even argue with the angel or call him crazy or laugh like Sarah did when the angels told her and Abraham they would have a baby boy by that same time next year. She just says,

"I am the Lord's servant.

May everything you have said 

about me come true."

-Luke 1:38

She accepts what the angel told her. Without question. That is just mind-blowing to me. I can't say that I would have that same faith without any type of questions, details, or anything of that nature. Can you? I try not to measure the faith of myself and those around me, but I feel like Mary, even at her very young age, had more faith than I can even imagine. Bible experts and historians put Mary at about 13 or 14 at this point, making Joseph around 23 or so. It's just indescribable, this story of the miracle birth. Maybe this will be the Christmas that changes everything. 

I hope you all have wonderful holidays. Merry Christmas to you all! and Happy New Year if I don't write again before then. 

-katie

Semi-Update

I've had this week off because the parents of the family I work for are in Florida on vacation and Pierce is with his grandparents. It's been so nice to wake up whenever I want (more like can), take a nap whenever I want, go out and do whatever I want when I want. It's just been incredibly relaxing.

Tomorrow, I will head north to Springfield, MO to see my cousin, his wife, and their new baby, Addi! I cannot wait to meet this little girl! She is so loved already--more like spoiled already! My aunt will be there too and I'm excited to see her since I haven't seen her since a week or so before Addi was born. Can't wait!

Tonight, I got to see my baby Kate. And needless to say, I was excited to see her and her parents. I haven't seen them in two weeks.

There will be a post coming next week from my baby weekend! Looking forward to it!

-katie

Philippians 1:3

This weekend, I realized what I'm really thankful for this year.

I'm thankful for time. I'm thankful for time with people, time with God, and just time in general.

I never realized how much time I take for granted with the ones I love. Spending time with my family and friends has always been a bit rushed so that I could go on to the next thing. It kinda feels a bit like an obligation. And it hasn't been until this year that I've really realized how much I love the time I spend with my friends and family and how much I don't want that time to end. I should've realized this completely a long time ago. I should've realized it when my dad was in his final weeks of life. Well, in all honesty, I should've realized it before then, but hindsight, right?

And now, when I'm spending time with family and friends and anyone else, I relish those moments. I take it all in and savor it. I did it last night when I was hanging out with 2 of my sisters. I'll do it again tonight when I hang out with one of my best friends. And yet again this 4-day Thanksgiving weekend. I am so blessed and so thankful.

Love the ones you're with when you're with them and always. They might not make it to the next time. You never know. Tell them you love them while they are here. Tell them how important they are to you. That will be important for you when they leave this Earth.

I'm thankful. Are you?
-katie

Morning Rant

Since my last post, I've been thankful for life (no specific day necessarily).
I've been thankful for common sense and the ability to know right from wrong. (Is that the same thing?)


I woke up this morning, earlier than usual. I showered and got ready. I had a little time before I had to leave for work, so my mom and I started talking--mistake #1. We talked about family and such. She had mentioned that my aunt (who lives out of town) never helps out with their mom, which, however true that is (only slightly), Mom doesn't exactly spend time with their mom much either. She'll do things for her like go get her prescriptions and go get lunch for her, but not like we used to. We used to go to dinner with Granny at least once a week, sometimes even twice. I still do, but Mom doesn't. Why, you ask? Oh, because in her words, "I'm busy." Oh, she's not busy. Let's talk about busy for a second. The only real time that I have Sunday-Saturday, is Friday night, Saturday, & Sunday after church. I have no time during the week to do anything. Period. That will all change soon. But, she would just rather spend time with her fiance, that she doesn't spend a day apart from. And what do they do? They watch TV, have dinner, and talk. Swamped, she is. Anyway, I told her all of this and she had nothing to say back. She said, "you're right." I'm thinking, what's new?

I just all of a sudden got frustrated about life this morning. I'm sick of the way I feel all day long. I hate going to work. I hate being bored out of my skull every single day. I hate the way I feel about my mom sometimes. I hate that I don't have a clue what I'm going to be doing in 6 weeks when my job ends. I hate the way I look. All I want is a plan. I want to know part of the future. I want to know if I should really be a teacher or if God has something else for me. I'm so sick of not knowing things. I put my life in God's hands and I'm glad I did. I would just like a little hint of my future. I plan on trusting God the entire way. Just.... Anything?

Hope this made sense. If it didn't--I don't care. I feel better getting it out.
-katie

P.S. Today, I'm thankful for the weekend.

Days 12 & 13 & 14

Day #12:
November 12th--

Saturday, I was and still am thankful for family, especially my aunt and grandmother. We woke up early and went on our yearly trip to Holiday House, which is kind of like a vendor type deal. Different vendors came from all over the state, south, and beyond. There was someone there from PA! Anyway, They just sell their product. They have everything from cooking utensils to Christmas ornaments to clothes to all kinds of pointless things. I was thankful for a day just to shop and spend time with family. My aunt and I have gotten so close since my dad passed, which I love. And my grandmother and I are very close. We see each other, usually once a week. She spoils me and so does my aunt.

Day #13:
November 13th--

Yesterday I was thankful for rest and music. I had absolutely nothing to do yesterday which was the most beautiful thing in the world. I took a nap and was lazy almost the entire day. Yesterday, at my church, we dedicated our organ. So we had a special recital that featured a couple of wonderful organists. David Howard Pettit played some beautiful numbers including some of his original works. I am in awe of what this organ can do. It has a setting that can sound like a woman/women and man/men singing alleluias and amens. It was eerily amazing. My jaw was on the floor--just the coolest thing.

Day #14:
November 14th--

Today I am thankful for wonderful opportunities. I'm thankful for my job. I'm thankful to come into a loving home and take care of the cutest 18-month-old in the world! I'm thankful for the last 14 months with this family. Being a nanny is so rewarding. Being able to teach and love and laugh with this little boy every day is priceless. Part of me wishes I could do this for the rest of my life, but I know that's unrealistic. These people have meant so much to me and have done so much for me this past year and 2 months. They are incredible! I will miss them when I leave at the end of this year. And I pray blessings on this family and especially Pierce who will be going to day care in January. I pray for continued good health and lots of learning!

Hope you all had a thankful weekend.
-katie

Day #11

While I should be/am thankful 365 days, here goes day 11 for the Month of Thankfulness:

Today I am thankful for the men and women who serve in the military including my cousin, Blake Grimmett (I don't know what his official title is).

Pledging his life to his country

Blake & me - home from boot camp

Blake & me at his rehearsal dinner

 My cousin Tony Francis (don't know his official title either), also serves. I am thankful for his service too.

Two of the most special men in my life, and I love them both. I couldn't imagine how our country would've turned out had it not been for our military.

Thank you both for serving so I can live in a free country. I love you both so much!

-katie