Love is...

It has been a long time since I updated--obviously. October to April is a LONG time. So here's my update and some food for thought.

It's been a season of changes for me. And as scary as that has been...it was/is totally necessary. My mom got married in June of last year. Such a God-thing now that I look back on it, but me not looking at the bigger picture as He always does, I was totally against this guy. The wedding was a wonderful celebration. I was in good spirits, mainly because my mom was gone and I had the apartment to myself. Maybe a week or so later, I had a huge falling out with a friend of mine. We are--I'm not really sure how to put this--not on the same page? Disagreeing? Hardly speaking? One of those or a combination should work. I'm not really sure where we are at this point. That's a whole other post, that I'm sure I'll never write. My godson came to spend the week with me, which was incredible! Me and my two friends started planning what we call #friendcation2013. It was the most incredible trip of my life. I am so so thankful for these two women in my life. They are such a wonderful blessing! (I'll post about this trip veeeeeeeeeeeeery soon.)

Fast forward to several times over the next 6 months, where I had just HAD it with my mom and her husband. I was fed up and I finally prayed and basically just put it all out there. I prayed something like this, "God, I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like moving out is the answer to this whole thing, but I don't have what's necessary to move out. I need your help, your intervention. I need something, because if I don't move out soon, someone will die. I don't care if it's me, mom, or him--someone will die." Well folks, He answered my prayer and not long after that I met my now roommate! Y'all, I've always had a problem with God's timing, because it was never my own. But seriously, there's no way this would've worked unless God had ordained it in the timing He did. I'm just in complete awe of Him. Thankful and in awe. And I give Him all the glory, forever and ever, amen.

So, Allison is her name and I don't think I could've picked a better person to have in my life. We are both very laid back, nothing really ruffles our feathers at home. Both my roommates are older than me by 1 and 5 years. And I have to admit, I really like living with these older women. They are such a wonderful influence on me. They have made me want to pursue my relationship with God more than I have been. (I'm making them sound like they are old old. I just turned 25, guys, no worries! They are just such amazing women of God and I couldn't be more blessed to have them in my life. I've only known them for 3 months and they are becoming some of my best friends.

My post has turned into something I didn't mean for it to. That's what I get when I let my mind wander. Dang. Well, I'll go ahead and share my food for thought. Since I moved out, I have a couple of boxes here that I have yet to unpack, mainly because our lease is up in June and didn't want to settle just to have to pack up again. I'm also lazy...
I found two Bibles of my Dad's in a box. I was flipping through to see what words of wisdom my Dad had put in the margins and I came across this underlined passage:

"Love is patient, love is kind,

and is not jealous; love does not brag

and is not arrogant,

does not act unbecomingly;

it does not seek its own,

is not provoked,

does not take into account a wrong suffered,

does not rejoice in unrighteousness,

but rejoices with the truth."

--I Corinthians 14:4-6

He dated it too. Now this may not mean anything to most people, but I thought it was really neat. The date is 6/14/87. They found out they were pregnant with me almost a month later. I just thought that was the coolest thing. I love that God puts things in our path just when we need them the most. I miss my Dad everyday. But it's honestly getting easier. 7 years have passed for me and it does get easier. So, for those of you out there that have lost a loved one, parent, whatever--it gets easier to deal with living without them. It just takes time, and for me--prayer. Friends and family help a lot too. 

Ok, I'm gonna go hang out with my "little bro" Graham. Hopefully I'll be posting again soon about my trip! Can't wait! 

-katie

Blog Silence for the Turner's

It's extremely hard to lose someone you love. But to lose your husband at the age of 32, no one ever thinks of this. In fact, it's just that--unthinkable. It's a tragic a thing I could imagine. Except maybe that he left behind his wife, younger than him, and his 10 month old daughter, Preslee.

Pray for this family, friends, because in the days, weeks, months, and years to come, they will hurt.

Father, I pray your peace and love over this family, Julee and Preslee especially. I have felt for them these last couple of days. I have cried for them and prayed for them. I pray for that peace that passes all our understanding. Matt is with you and he is whole. Thank you Father, for that confidence. Thank you for your Sovereignty. We love you, Lord.

-katie

Mentoring

I'm so thankful for my mentors. They set amazing examples of the woman of God that I want to be. They are amazing listeners and they always have a piece of wisdom to pass on to me. And I love it. I am blessed by their example and love. I learn a lot from them. I always tell my godchildren if they need to talk, need someone to listen, or just need to cry to someone, I'm going to be there for them. And even though I'm a whole state away, 500 miles away, I will never not be there for them. I am grateful for my mentors who show me how to mentor. And every time I'm talking to someone, I try to pray and ask God to bless our fellowship and guide my words. Talk to them through me, Lord. And it's so neat to see the results. After a talk, I sometimes think, wow--where did I get that? Oh yeah, thank you Lord.

I just wanted to share a few verses that have been on my heart the last few weeks. They have blessed my soul and quieted my spirit. They all come out of the New Living Translation [NLT].

"Give all your worries

and cares to God,

for he cares about you."

--1 Peter 5:7

"Don't worry about anything;

instead, pray about everything.

Tell God what you need, and thank him

for all he has done.

Then you will experience God's peace,

which exceeds anything we can understand.

His peace will guard your hearts and minds

as you live in Christ Jesus."

--Philippians 4:6-7

"Always be joyful.

NEVER STOP PRAYING.

Be thankful in all circumstances,

for this is God's will for you

who belong to Christ Jesus."

--1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Now all glory to God, who is able,

through his mighty power at work within us,

to accomplish infinitely more

than we might ask or think."

--Ephesians 3:20

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow"

-katie

Worry and Comfort

I've been having a rough semester in school so far. So much work with so little self-confidence. This is one of my many faults. And I don't admit that to just anyone. And not many people have ever noticed it. I'm really good at hiding or casting the glance away from myself. This is something that I have been trying to work on. Believe me, I will be a work-in-progress for a while. I need to get better at just letting go, in a way. But yet, I also want to guard my heart and mind. I am being taught my everything and everyone around me.  He is working on me and I am thankful.

God has been faithful, I have learned, throughout my life. I just never saw it. Hindsight, right? He has seen me through so many trials, mistakes, and triumphs. And I am thankful for all three. They have shaped me into the crazy, mess of a person that is typing to you right now.

I have been worried about my future lately. Am I making the right choice? Am I where You want me to be? Am I on track for Your Will in my life? Will this path lead me to what I want out of life?

Selfish, I know. I can't lie--I want to know these things.

And just a little while ago, I started thinking about it again. I could no more get two words out of my mouth into a prayer and God spoke a verse into my heart and brought me comfort. 

"'For I know the plans I have for you,'

says the LORD.

'They are plans for good, not for disaster,

to give you a future and a hope.'"

--Jeremiah 29:11 [NLT]

Now, I will not say that my worry is completely gone, but it has severely diminished. I have talked to so many friends and mentors about this and I have felt even more lost. But I barely get two words out to my Savior and He comforts me immediately. I am thankful and I will praise Him. 

Thank You, Lord! 

-katie

I'm baaaaaack!!

Oh, God is good. Can I just throw that out there?? He is SO good. It has been a CRAZY 5 months since I last posted. A lot has gone on. I have tons to tell you and update. Since I last posted, I have spent lots of time with my godchildren, gotten a new job, gone to 2 weddings, and made 3 A's in school. I am blessed. I can't put it anymore plainly than that.

I will post more about these events in the near future, but for now here are the highlights!

Me and my godson, Kayden Matthew Lewis Tucker

Isn't he gorgeous!

My beautiful friend/sister, Marla and me at her wedding

Celebrated my 24th Birthday & Easter with my family!

(Teri &; J, me, Jarrod &; Caira)

Another of Kayden 

The whole family of 7

(Kayden, Holly, Cameron, Tori, Trinity, David, Kaleb)

Mom got married and here's the new family

(Ian, me, Mom, Tim, Ashley, Shane)

Sadie, me and Sarah just showing the definition of our friendship

Caira, Addi, and Jarrod
(my favorites)

All (but 2) of the cousins
(Cassidy, Beth, Blake & Audrey, Tara & Dawson, Chase, Jarrod & Addi, me, Caira)

I have been truly blessed this summer. I have started a new job with the cutest kids ever and I love it! I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be apart of this family. Blessed. God is good.

Until next time...

-katie

Update

Well, hello there friends. It's been a while.

Since my last post, I have enjoyed meeting my new godson Kayden Matthew Lewis Tucker! He is absolutely precious. I hate that I have to miss the firsts of his life, but that is the down-side to living 500+ miles away. I am thankful for technology though. Calling, texting, and texting pictures of Kayden and the rest of the kids has made me feel great! I just hope he always knows who I am and how much he means to me! And I'm excited to say that I'll be headed back down there either at the end of the month, or middle of April. I CANNOT WAIT!

I started my job! Yay! I'm currently a teller at a bank and loving it. God certainly placed that in my life for a reason. And I sure am thankful for it. This is a great job with great people and great opportunities.

I'm so thankful for great friends in my life. My age, older, younger--I don't care. I learn something from them all and I am grateful! I need to post pictures soon, but my computer is currently on the fritz. So, I guess it'll be a while before that happens since I have to get my computer fixed. #storyofmylife Sorry for the hashtag, but I felt it necessary.

Hope y'all have a wonderful rest of the week and weekend! I'll be at a Bachelorette weekend starting Friday. So excited about it! I'm ready to celebrate this friend! :)

-katie

Goals?

My life might be officially on the way to starting. After nineteen days of searching and waiting and applying, I finally have a job! I'm going to be a bank teller at a bank here in Little Rock. I am so beyond thrilled. This is the job that I wanted and I'm so glad that it all worked out. I have a good feeling that God has something up his sleeve for me on this path. I am praising God and giving Him the glory for this opportunity! I am trusting that He is going to get me through the next month with all the learning this new job entails, not to mention studying for school as well.

Lately I've been thinking about "my plan" for my life. I know that God laughs every time someone talks about their plan for their life. We are human. Imperfect. So we do things like, think we can plan out our lives like we think they'll turn out. I've already failed at my life plan, so I'm not even sure why I still have one. Well, I don't really have one anymore... But, my life plan included graduating from college at 22, getting married anytime in my 23rd year of life, start having kids at 25. That's really all I had on my life list because for my entire life, the only thing I've ever wanted to do in my life is be a wife and mother. I've never had any career goals for my life. Well, I've never really had any other goals either. I've always wanted to travel, but I always wanted to be a Mom more. I guess I always figured I'd just travel with my family. I do want to travel with my family, give them culture and such. There's not really a point until they're old enough to enjoy and remember it. There will always be pictures, but I'd rather my kids have pictures AND memories. I guess I just want the best of both worlds.

But, even more lately, I've been wanting to travel and not just to see my godchildren. I want to go to different places and just explore the cities. These are the places I want to go as of right now(that I can think of):

San Diego, CA
Hawaii
Italy
England
Israel
Boston, MA
Savannah, GA
South Carolina

That's all that I can think of at the moment. Other goals of mine are to graduate from college, eventually (I have no time limit on this). To, one day, be a wife and a mother. To fall in love with reading and exercising (not at the same time). And to realize what I want to do with my life, career wise.

I think those are pretty reasonable goals right now, especially when I don't have a limit on when they should happen. Maybe? Maybe not. I don't have a clue.

-katie

Mary's Faith

So, I'm back from Springfield! Well, I've been back since Sunday afternoon, but I'm just now getting to write. It was INCREDIBLE. I got to see my cousin and his wife, their baby girl, and my aunt, Addi's grandma! I got to hold Addi for the first time and boy, was it spectacular! I've never been that close with a birth before. It's always been a friend giving birth. It's never been a family member that I've been this close with before. Jarrod and Caira are like a brother and sister-in-law to me. So, in turn I feel like an aunt. Self-declared, of course.

On another note...

The last few Christmases have been really different for me. Obviously because of my dad's passing, but it seems more than that. I'm more thankful or less shallow than before. It's been strange to see the transformation of the holidays in my eyes. But, in a way, I'm glad for it. I'm glad the presents really don't matter anymore. It's about spending time with the ones you love, family and friends. And most importantly, it's about the birth of the One who came to save the world. 

This time of year, I love reading Luke 1:26-38, the "Birth of Jesus foretold". It tells of the angel visiting Mary and prophesying the fact that she was going to have a son despite her having never been with a man. It's such an incredible account of what happened back then. And what shocks me the most isn't the immaculate conception, but Mary's willingness. She doesn't even argue with the angel or call him crazy or laugh like Sarah did when the angels told her and Abraham they would have a baby boy by that same time next year. She just says,

"I am the Lord's servant.

May everything you have said 

about me come true."

-Luke 1:38

She accepts what the angel told her. Without question. That is just mind-blowing to me. I can't say that I would have that same faith without any type of questions, details, or anything of that nature. Can you? I try not to measure the faith of myself and those around me, but I feel like Mary, even at her very young age, had more faith than I can even imagine. Bible experts and historians put Mary at about 13 or 14 at this point, making Joseph around 23 or so. It's just indescribable, this story of the miracle birth. Maybe this will be the Christmas that changes everything. 

I hope you all have wonderful holidays. Merry Christmas to you all! and Happy New Year if I don't write again before then. 

-katie

Semi-Update

I've had this week off because the parents of the family I work for are in Florida on vacation and Pierce is with his grandparents. It's been so nice to wake up whenever I want (more like can), take a nap whenever I want, go out and do whatever I want when I want. It's just been incredibly relaxing.

Tomorrow, I will head north to Springfield, MO to see my cousin, his wife, and their new baby, Addi! I cannot wait to meet this little girl! She is so loved already--more like spoiled already! My aunt will be there too and I'm excited to see her since I haven't seen her since a week or so before Addi was born. Can't wait!

Tonight, I got to see my baby Kate. And needless to say, I was excited to see her and her parents. I haven't seen them in two weeks.

There will be a post coming next week from my baby weekend! Looking forward to it!

-katie

Philippians 1:3

This weekend, I realized what I'm really thankful for this year.

I'm thankful for time. I'm thankful for time with people, time with God, and just time in general.

I never realized how much time I take for granted with the ones I love. Spending time with my family and friends has always been a bit rushed so that I could go on to the next thing. It kinda feels a bit like an obligation. And it hasn't been until this year that I've really realized how much I love the time I spend with my friends and family and how much I don't want that time to end. I should've realized this completely a long time ago. I should've realized it when my dad was in his final weeks of life. Well, in all honesty, I should've realized it before then, but hindsight, right?

And now, when I'm spending time with family and friends and anyone else, I relish those moments. I take it all in and savor it. I did it last night when I was hanging out with 2 of my sisters. I'll do it again tonight when I hang out with one of my best friends. And yet again this 4-day Thanksgiving weekend. I am so blessed and so thankful.

Love the ones you're with when you're with them and always. They might not make it to the next time. You never know. Tell them you love them while they are here. Tell them how important they are to you. That will be important for you when they leave this Earth.

I'm thankful. Are you?
-katie