Silence and Awe

I haven't had a lot to say lately and I'm not sure why. Maybe because the people at my job are driving me nuts. Maybe it's because I have to change some things in my life right now that I don't necessarily want to--at all. Maybe it's because I've just been thinking instead of talking.

.

"Be still and know that He is God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in all the earth."

Psalm 46:10

.

I've been reading the Psalms lately. And I couldn't be happier reading them. Now, granted, I'm not in that 46th chapter just yet...but I'm getting there. I love reading the Psalms. The words bring joy to my heart and the knowledge that He is with me all the time. He holds me close and never forgets about me.

.

"Keep me as the apple of your eye.

Hide me in the shadow of your wings."

Psalm 17:8

.

He doesn't ignore me. He hears whenever I call out to Him. How powerful! I am the scum of the Earth to Him and yet; He still wants a relationship with me. Awesome. I have done Him so wrong and still He loves me. That absolutely blows my mind.

.

"The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;

the Lord accepts my prayer."

Psalm 6:9

.

This really neat this happened at work on Wednesday. As you probably know, it was Veteran's Day and we were giving free smoothies for anyone in a service uniform. These two people in uniform came in to order and it was clearly their first time, right in the middle of the lunch rush--no doubt. As they were ordering, this lady behind them caught my attention and mouthed the words, "I want to pay for their meal." So the couple finished ordering and after I took the smoothie prices off they were left with a certain amount and the lady behind them stepped up and said, "I would like to pay for your meal to say 'Thanks for serving our country.'" I almost started crying! How moving is that! It's so incredible that there are still good people in this world. I would have paid for their meal if I had thought of it myself, but I didn't. HA! May God bless that lady! Anyway, the end of the story is the couple was so thankful and the lady in uniform was so moved that she hugged the one who paid for her meal! I will never forget this for as long as I live.

.

Thank you to all who have served my country.

katie

Got Any Change?

Last week was a huge reminder of change in my life.

.

A change from childhood into adulthood.

A change from life to death.

A change from light to dark.

A change...

.

I'm not very good with change to begin with, especially when that person or place or event has been in my life for long. It will take me a lifetime to get used to the fact that my Daddy is no longer here on this earth. I may know that he is not here and I may cope with it but I will never be used to it or okay with it. You know, when he passed away, people said, "Think of God as your Daddy". Well thanks for the advice, but it's not the same. But trusting in my Lord makes it better and bearable.

.

I hope that one day there will be a big change that I'm excited about...like marriage! I don't want to be afraid my whole life. I know it will come for me and I honestly cannot wait, but I also know that I have a lot of things to work out in my life before that can happen.

.

"And we know that God causes everything

to work together for the good of those who love God

and are called according to His purpose for them."

Romans 8:28 NLT

.

I know that He has and will work everything out for my good because I love Him. I cannot wait to see how He has planned my life! I just can't wait!

.

Speaking of change, like my blog change? I thought it was time!

.

Until next time...

katie

Dear Bekah,

You have no idea what you mean to me. I'm writing you this letter because I could never say this in person. I wouldn't be able to get through it without breaking down.

.

You are so special to me, even more now. Your friendship is so incredibly meaningful to me. You're a wonderful listener. You make me laugh a lot! And I know that God meant for our paths to cross in this life. He meant for us to be friends for lots of reasons, this being one of them. I know you've heard the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason." Well, I've never understood it and I still don't. It's possible that I'll never understand it. But in some way, I know it's true. God planned this in such an amazing way to let both of us know that we are never alone. I know that people are put in our lives for incredible reasons. People come and go before us so that we can, in some way, be helped and comforted by their stories and experiences.

.

I know you'll remember this. Remember in Grey's when George's dad dies and Christina is talking to him. She welcomes him into the "Club". The Dead Dad's Club. As of Monday night, you became a member, and Bek, it breaks my heart to welcome you into that club. I never like welcoming a new member, nor do I get excited about club meetings or events. But the club discussions truly do bring a comforting feeling and remind me that everyone else feels the same things that I do.

.

Remembering my dad and how everything happened, comes in flashes especially in times like these. But our dads will be in our hearts forever. You are an incredible person and through this time you will find out things about yourself, good and bad. My dad's favorite phrase was, "Don't forget Whose you are." Every time I went on a trip or a sleepover, or even something as simple as going to school, he would always tell me not to forget Whose I am. It would remind me to always honor, not only my family with my words and actions, but more importantly--my Heavenly Father.

.

Bek, we talked on Wednesday when we had dinner, about people who say they care. But we always wondered where they were beforehand. And soon, I'm afraid, you will wonder where they have gone. Well, even when people forget details and drift away as most will, He never will. He will always be there for you. I also remember a talk a while back about how sometimes that doesn't help. "My dad's not here with me," we say. But Bek, look where he is right now. The most indescribable place we could ever imagine--beyond our imagination! Heaven absolutely just blows my mind when I think about it. I can't stop thinking about the streets of gold and the pearly gates. But more than that, to imagine a place where there is no pain, tears, worry, and sorrow is absolutely incredible. We cannot begin to know what that is like. We are so filled with worry, pain, and grief here on Earth, that we cannot fathom the intensity of Heaven. But he is there with my dad. I just know it.

.

I loved your dad, Bek, and I truly cannot believe he is gone and that we are both fatherless. But we need to remember and cling to the fact that our Heavenly Father loves us more than our daddy's ever did. He wants us to come before Him even when we are angry. He can do anything.

.

"The Lord your God is with you.

He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with His love..."

Zephaniah 3:17

.

.

"Come to Me, all you who

are weary and heavy-burdened

and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

.

Bek, God has shown me so many things about life and death and everything in between. I am just now coming back to Him with all my needs. It takes time to heal and don't you ever let anyone rush you or make you feel bad for not doing things. Grief is an individual process. Just remember, you can always talk to Him--always. He's always there in your heart, all you have to do it talk. He knows what you're thinking anyway so, you might as well just say it out loud. ;)

.

I love you so much. You are like a sister to me. Let me know how you're feeling. Tell me you want and need to get out. I am here for you. I will always be here for you. Always, always remember that, ok? Ask me anything you want and I'll tell you what I know and what I've learned. And we will learn some things together. I know what you're going through. I love you.

.

All My Love,

katie

A New Year

Happy Anniversary to me! It's been a year ago today that I entered the Blogspot world. I feel like it's been a good year. Lots of things have happened, good and bad. Both that I can and have learned from. I thank God for those experiences!

.

To all of my prayer warrior friends, I need you. One of my best friends, Bekah, needs prayer right now. Her whole family needs your prayers right now, especially her dad, Rick. You see, Rick has had cancer for a couple of years now and has been in and out of remission. It has gotten to the point now that he's being sent home tomorrow with Hospice, that is, if he makes it through the night. I pray that he does. The last thing that I want to see is one of my best friends go through a very similar tragedy that I went through almost 4 years ago.

.

.

It's so hard to believe that it will be 4 years in February...

God has been so faithful through the years. He has been able to renew my faith and remain steadfast.

.

"Create in me a pure heart,

O God, and renew a steadfast

spirit within me."

Psalm 51:10

.

I just hope that Bekah finds the promises that God has bestowed upon me over the years. I know that His promises will be revealed to her in His perfect timing. I cannot wait for Bekah's restoration. I continue to pray for her daily through this time.

.

Thanks.

Until next time...

katie

Bagels, Basketball, and Laughter!

Mesha- "Hey Katie, can you make that bagel?"

(sounds easy, right?)

Katie- "Oh yeah, sure." First mistake.

.

It is an amazing skill to cut a bagel and cut your finger WITHOUT getting blood on the bagel. Yes, I was wearing gloves...but still. The blood filled up the entire finger in my glove.

.

ANYWAY!! This week has been crazy. Monday and Tuesday, I opened at work, watched a little girl both days, AND went to church and helped out with Upward Evaluations for this Spring! Wednesday, I went with my trio to sing at the Lions World Services for the Blind and sang a whole set! It went really well! I could feel God moving and people were enjoying it! And yesterday, I watched my favorite baby, Kate!!

.

.

AAAAND...I finally heard her laugh!!! It was so exciting to finally hear that!! It completely made my week! And today...I cut my finger. A wonderful end to a great week!!

.

And this weekend is CITYFEST!! I'm sure I will post pics from there.

.

Until then...

Fall Family Festival 2009!

Only One Amazing Race

I hope that all of your weeks started out wonderful!! My week has been busy busy!! Full of pictures and fun! I'll start with Saturday!

.

Saturday started out early! The youth at my church always do an "Amazing Race" every year about this time. Well Saturday was it! It was a BLAST!! I drove my team, Olivia and Kinley to Arkadelphia which is about an hour away from here. First we went to a park and did different things around the park then we went to the Spillway (or Dam or whatever you want to call it) for lunch. Lots of fun was had and eventually my team WONN!!! We are amazing. Yes.

So we got finished around 3:45 and I got on the freeway to come home at 4!! I got a call that I needed to babysit at 4:45! Cutting it close, I asked if the time was a little bit flexible. They said absolutely and I got there about 5ish to watch such a precious little baby Olive!

Sunday was the most fun, but I'm thinking I will have to do a whole other post with pictures of our Fall Festival that we had at my church that night! I will just tell you about what I discovered that morning.

.

God was apparently trying to get it in my thick skull that He really does know best and that He is Almighty and absolutely incredible. Well in my college Sunday School class, we've started going through 1st and 2nd Thessalonians which has been really interesting. Well we came across a group of 3 verses that I have clung to ever since I read them. I had been thinking about my dad basically the whole weekend. I was just missing him and wishing I could talk to him and see what he would say about a lot of things in my life right now and ask his advice. So, I read these verses:

.

"For God chose to save us

through our Lord Jesus Christ,

not to pour out his anger on us.

Christ died for us,

so that whether we are

dead or alive when he returns,

we can live with him forever.

So encourage each other and

build each other up,

just as you are already doing."

1 Thessalonions 5:9-11

.

Three incredibly powerful verses. My favorite being verse 10 in bold. That verse is so incredibly comforting to me. Every believer has doubts at some point in time, but I have no more doubts about where my dad is. I know that I will be with him in Heaven someday and I cannot wait.

.

"Therefore since we are surrounded

by such a great cloud of witnesses,

let us throw off everything that hinders

and the sin that so easily entangles,

and let us run with perseverance

the race that is marked for us.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus,

the author and perfecter of our faith, [...]"

Hebrews 12:1-2a

.

So have an Amazing Race.

katie

.

PS. I am also looking for suggestions for a name for my new blog...I used to be called Miss Katie, if that helps. Looking forward to hearing what you've come up with!

Additional Blog??

If I created a new blog for the adventures that I have babysitting/nannying...would you follow me?

.

I have so many stories and pictures that I can share from all kinds of families from all walks of life. They are funny, sad, interesting, frustrating and just plain strange. Would you follow me?

.

I hope you all are having a great week so far...it's almost over. I can't wait til Friday! Mainly because I get to watch my new favorite baby, Kate!!

.

.

This little bundle of joy is Kate! She is clearly talking in this picture. I have yet to hear her laugh in my presence yet. But I am hoping and waiting for it on Friday! :) The new blog will be able to let me tell you about my findings as a nanny. I will give bits of advice, funny stories, and great pictures!!

.

I'm still thinking of a name of my additional blog, otherwise, I would have a link for you.

.

Stay tuned!!

-katie

The "What If" Game

"And we know that God

causes everything to work together

for the good of those

who love God and

are called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28

.

I believe that I've been given a challenge from God.

Imagine that a really really good friend and her husband were in trouble. Imagine that their 4 children would be taken from them. What would you do? Step up or step back? What if you stepped back? How would you feel? Glad you didn't have to deal with it? Ashamed you didn't do more or anything at all? I realize it's not your responsibility...but aren't we supposed to help others, the less fortunate, the widows and orphans? Why is it that we are called to carry these things through but when the opportunity comes up we pass it by, saying we are too busy or don't have the funds or the space?

.

God will work everything out if you love Him. I feel like I'm in His plan right now. But right now, I'm just waiting...waiting until He says, "Go." That's all that I can do. I have no control over my circumstances right now. It is absolutely terrifying.

.

So, what if you stepped up? Brought the kids in your house and loved them as your own? Your life is turned upside down. Is it worth it? You're in God's plan, right? It's completely worth it. Every minute is a lesson. Every second is an experience. How can it not be worth it?

.

What if...

What a phrase. We can play "What if" all day long, right? I can only focus on "What is". And what is right now is life. Love. Blessings. I can't wait to see where God takes me. I feel like he is testing me, almost the way he tested Abraham. God asked him to take Isaac to the mountain (Genesis 22). Even thought I am not giving up my only son, which I don't have, I still feel as though I am following the Lord's calling. These people are in trouble. I will help them, not for me, not for the parents, but for God and the children. I love them so much.

.

Trusting God is an interesting concept. I'm putting my life in the hands of someone I have never seen. But I know He's there. I can feel Him. He works in my life. I am so thankful for that.

.

Pray for me as God makes things work for me because I love Him.

.

"So don't worry about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will bring it's own worries.

Today's trouble is enough for today."

Matthew 6:34 (NLT)

.

Until next time...

katie

All Else Fades...

For about a week and a half now, I've been caught up in the words of this beautiful song. It has been coming on everytime I get in my car to go somewhere. Literally, every time. It speaks to me so. I loving getting caught up in the words. I just belt out the song in my car. I probably look like the biggest idiot, drumming on the steering wheel, makin' the "rockin' out" faces and such. Wow...I can just see it. 

"A thousand times I fail

Still your mercy remains

Should I stumble again

Still I'm calling your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never-ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame.

Your will above all else

My purpose remains

The art of losing myself

In bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never-ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame.

My heart and my soul

I give you control

Consume me from the inside out

Let justice and praise become my praise

To love you from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never-ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame.

And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise from the inside out

My soul cries out

I give you control

Consume me from the inside out

Let justice and praise become my praise

To love you from the inside out"

-Seventh Day Slumber

These words have been on my heart lately and I thought I'd share them with you! This song is so powerful. The actual title is "From the Inside Out" by Seventh Day Slumber. 

I hope your week has been good so far. Mine has been fine. Today was just ok. It's about to get better though. It's choir time. All my stress and such melts away when I sing. When I am praising my Jesus, it's the best time. I hope it's the same with you.

-katie