Sunday, November 23, 2008

Joy and Visions

Let's start with visions. 
 
I was sitting here reading my cousin's blog--kinda starting from the beginning and working my way toward the present. Well I never made it to the present. I ran across the post from when my dad passed and it was very funny and sweet. I kind of let my mind wander while I stared at the computer screen. I've been struggling with the idea and the execution of joy. So, in letting my mind wander, I feel like God put a vision in my head. I had a vision of what leaving this Earth and going to Heaven would be like. In my vision, I was dead and in Heaven and all that I could focus on was seeing the Lord and all of my family and friends who were waiting for me to join them. I wasn't thinking about who I had left behind and how much pain they were in. I could see my dad and he was such a beautiful sight. He was perfect. I could see his huge smile that I miss so much, that I see every time I look in the mirror. This vision made me miss him even more but I know, deep in my heart, that I will see him again one day. I've never wanted to go to Heaven more than I do right now. I've heard that the people who are deepest in their walk with Christ want to go to Heaven more than anything in the entire world. My great aunt Madge was exactly that way. She loved God so much--every time I saw her, she would say something about how she couldn't wait to be with her God and Julian (her late husband). 
 
This weekend has really opened my eyes to finding real joy in my everyday life. I can't think of a better person or idea to put my trust and hope in (which I've also had trouble with lately). We had a Youth Girls' Retreat and joy was the topic--just what I needed to hear. 
 
"The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy and
I will give thanks to Him in song."
Psalm 28:7
 
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
Psalm 51:12
 
"Be joyful in hope,
patient in affliction,
faithful in prayer."
Romans 12:12
 
"May the God of hope
fill you with all joy and peace
as you trust in Him,
so that you may overflow with hope
in the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13
 
I'm going to try to go to sleep now--1:13 am. doesn't agree with me
-katie

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

the start of something new

I'm starting this Beth Moore Bible Study and I'm rather excited about it. It's called "Breaking Free: Making Liberty in Christ a Reality in Life"
 
So far, Beth has challenged us to memorize a verse: Galatians 5:1 which says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (no i didn't do that from memory :[ )
 
Lately I've been feeling trapped by life and thoughts and such. I've just need to get rid of all of the negativity in my life. I realized, after talking with two of my mentors, that Satan was trapping me so that I could not be joyful in Christ. 
 
I love those mentors to death--they keep me sane! Haha! 
They are such inspirations for the Lord. They humble me in such a way that I feel that the Lord is doing it Himself. They are completely devoted--in everyway--to our God. I absolutely love the way I feel when I talk to them. There's a peace (that passes all understanding) that comes over me and I know and feel like everything is going to be okay. How do they do that?? I definitely want to be able to do that when the younger generations come to me and ask me what advice I can pass on. I want to help them just as these women of God help me everyday. I don't even have to talk to them on a daily basis and I feel their words helping me (yes, i know that God's speaking through them). 
 
Who's heard the song by Mandisa (i love her!!) called "God Speaking"? absolutely incredible lyrics. They are below:
 
Have you ever heard a love song that Set your spirit free Have you ever watched a sunrise and Felt you could not breathe What if it's Him What if it's God speaking Have you ever cried a tear that You could not explain Have you ever met a stranger Who already knew your name What if it's Him What if it's God speaking Who knows how He'll get a hold of us Get our attention to prove He is enough He'll do and He'll use Whatever He wants to To tell us "I love you" Have you ever lost a loved one Who you thought should still be here Do you know what it feels like To be tangled up in fear What if He's somehow involved What if He's speaking through it all Who knows how He'll get a hold of us Get our attention to prove He is enough He'll do and He'll use Whatever He wants to To tell us "I love you" His ways are higher His ways are better Though sometimes strange What could be stranger Than God in a manger Who knows how He'll get a hold of us Get our attention to prove He is enough Who knows how He'll get a hold of you Get your attention to prove He is enough He'll do and He'll use Whatever He wants to To tell us "I love you" God is speaking "I love you"
 
 
 
 
I LOVE this song--listen to it sometimes. It is just so powerful!
love to all,
katie

Monday, November 10, 2008

A nightmare that I'm still living..

My childhood was great, for the most part. My family wasn't poor or rich--we just were. My parents gave me everything that they could--love, friendship, trust, God. My dad was a chef/cook of many places. He worked at Izzy's, Black Angus, The Spot (which we owned), The Hop (which we also owned). My mom was a mom. She only worked when she had to which wasn't very often. She worked at a pharmacy and at the Dorcas House and then at The Hop.
 
January 1999
Well I was 11 when my dad was working at Black Angus. During that time, something happened. Everyday my dad seemed to get fatter and fatter. We could feel the pressure of his belly; it felt like a balloon. We kept saying, "go to the hospital, find out what's wrong". "No, no," he would say, "it's just gas, it'll go away". Well it didn't go away. He decided to be a genius one day and poke his stomach really hard. He told us he was thinking, 'if i poke a hole in my belly, the air will get out and I'll be fine. Well he poked himself really hard and the pain was so great that he was brought to his knees. He drove home (in that much pain) and said "let's go to the hospital." it was 10:00pm. So my mom and I drove him to the hospital where he was rushed into emergency surgery because his bowel was perforated. Mom and I went home around 3. A nurse called us later that morning to update us on how dad was doing and she said if he had come in even a minute later, he would be dead. Mom started crying and I, being only 11, was in shock. The recovery was long and hard on everyone, but we made it.
 
When he was all healed up, he started thinking about and looking for a job. With God's provision and protection, he bought The Hop Drive-In. He had always wanted to own another dairy bar (he had owned The Spot before the surgery). We opened September 1, 1999. God watched over us and our business. We were blessed with 6 years of ownership. My dad was the cook, my mom and I either took orders or manned the friers. We had 3 or 4 girls who worked for us--Tracy, Krystina, and Maggie.
 
December 15, 2005
 
This was the end of the first semester of my senior year. I had just taken my Anatomy final and completely bombed, so it was already a bad day and it was just noon. We were short-handed that week at The Hop because someone was sick, so I had to go straight there. I pull into the parking lot and was shocked to find that we weren't busy, not just that--but we weren't even open. Very confused, I went inside and asked what was happening. They started telling me that we've been shut down because of tax issues. The girls and I start crying. So we were closed. My dad, mom, Tracy, Krystina, Maggie and me were all out of a job. Mom, Dad, and I went through the Christmas season without any income.
 
Dad found a job quick, though he couldn't start until after the New Year. So Christmas came and went and so did New Years and Dad started his job. He was a bread delivery man for Ideal Bread Co. He worked for a week and we got a call.
 
January 14, 2006
 
Dad called to say that he had fallen at work and that he was at the hospital. We darted out the door and sped to the hospital. We came to find no blood--nothing but him laying in a hospital bed. We also found out that he had nearly shattered his knee. The doctors put an external fixation on his leg to straighten it out and give the knee some room. They sent him home with instructions to take it easy and to come back a week later for reconstructive surgery. So we got him home and comfortable. The next few days were really hard. Eventually we took him back to the hospital because he couldn't keep any food down. So he went into surgery and they worked on his intestines. He came out and seemed to be doing better--but he took a turn for the worst. His kindeys and liver started failing, so they put him on a respirator to keep the stress off of his heart.
 
February 1, 2006
 
The doctor came in and told us with a heavy heart that there was nothing else they could do for him. He told us he had 24 hours left.
 
February 2, 2006
 
First thing in the morning, Mom and I went to the hospital. I didn't want to go; I wanted to be at school. But Mom made me go with her. Nothing was happening, so my aunt (dad's sister) took me home to clean up the house a bit so we could receive people at home later that week. After I helped clean up, I went to school to pick up some homework; after all, I had been gone for a while. 
 
So, I got up to the high school and I started seeing people come out of the gym and such--so I figured class was out. And it was. People started come up to me, especially from my class, telling me that they were praying for me and my family. I thanked them and went into the building. Waiting there for me was my English teacher, Mrs. Walker, my choir director, Mrs. Quay, my friends, Sarah, Sadie, Brooke, Becky, Marla, Katie, Julielle, Kappie, and my friend’s pastor, Charles Chamblee. After lots of tears, Mrs. Walker convinced me that I needed to be with my family in case something happened. She took me in her car to the hospital and by the time I got there; all of my family and best friends were there in the waiting room. I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who cared for me and my mom. 
 
Right after we got to the hospital, Charles took me back to where my mom and dad were. I saw my mom standing at the nurses station in ICU, which was odd--she was always in my dad's room. So I went up to her and asked, "Is he gone?" and her response was, "Yes, sweetie". The tears came long and hard. After I went to see my dad, I went back into the waiting room. Hugs, a few tears, and a whole lot of love came rushing towards me. I hugged my family and friends. We sat in the waiting room talking about all the good times that were had by all. We laughed and cried and hugged. 
 
I had lost my dad...
 
William Frank Harrison is my hero, my daddy, my friend. I will never ever forget you. 
February 5, 1957-February 2, 2006
 
ps. so sorry it's so long--bless you if you're reading this right now.